Oh, no, did someone hurt your feelings? You want them to have legal repercussions? For hurting your feelings? FUCK YYYOUUUU

These people.

These fucking people. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about. That guy, who if you ever say “haha, you’re a tard” after he trips over his own foot, he’ll be filled with indignant, pointless rage and want to sue you. That guy will actually want to fucking sue you, oh yes.

Threaten someone over a video game? Get sued!

Point out that someone’s fat?

SSSSUUEEEEDDDDDDD

Now, I don’t even live in the “good ol’ U S of A” where this shit seems to happen most anymore, and because of that, I want YOU, yes, YOU, to give me more examples of these things and maybe elaborate why this is even exists in the murrican ideasphere, why people feel so fucking important that they should never have their feelings hurt or their ideals criticized by anyone ever.

Except… that’s kind of pointless because nobody reads this shit, so yeah..

Do it anyway, though.

I don’t even

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Decency? HAHA NOPE

 

decency

Decency. It’s a harmless thing that I’ve got my panties in a twist over, and I’ll be glad to tell you all why. All you 2 or 3 followers or so, that is. Decency is, by the common human’s definition, simply having a little class. Don’t respond to insults, have good manners, and in addition, hate each and every single kind of ideal I have, with a burning passion.

Being a human, I naturally – CHICKEN MCFUCKIT YOUR CHICKEN McNUGGET. Excuse me. Being a human, I naturally feel the need to challenge whoever challenges my own ideals, so let’s get right to it.

Decency is an attempt to repress our natural tendencies to have outbursts, fits of rage, and much more, particularly on terms of social settings. It is also an attempt to repress our love of things that are more fun than survival. Hanggliding, ziplining, other things that might kill us, but are amazingly fun. Instead, we are expected to sit there at a desk, hitting a button until we are paid. Because that’s DECENT and HUMBLE, right you guys?

NO. Listen. When you can’t let out your emotions, when you can’t have a little adrenaline, life is nothing. When you get pissed off, you should say “FFFFFUUUUCK YOU!!”, rather than just taking it up the ass from whoever has pissed you off. I don’t think any one of us want to live a life where we never stand up for ourselves, where we can never be obscene, where we can never just let go and be real humans. We don’t need to be zombies. We don’t need to be slaves to fucking bullshit like ‘manners’, constantly inhibiting our NEED to go batshit. On a smaller degree, I always live this way. I need to get rid of the insanity as fast as it builds up.

The urge to have an outburst builds up in your typical human, and it keeps building until they have a little leak and end up hurting someone. It’s like standing on a running hose, then somehow the water builds up to the point where it knocks you down.

Anyway, my point is…

FUCK

THAT

SHIT

Boobs, planes, and other assorted globs of stupidity

 

 

Boobs! Also, planse!

 

BOOBS

That’s right. Today, we’re going to talk about boobs.

It seems that exposed breasts in public aren’t an issue, as long as the nipple isn’t visible. I’m not quite sure why the nipple is a bad thing. It keeps babies alive, which might seem evil at first, but eventually those babies grow into people. Of course, that’s also evil, but not as evil as babies. Seriously. Babies are out for your blood.

Nobody seems to have an issue with nipples on men being shown in public. I’m no feminist, despite being a female, but nipples on men do nothing.

At least boobs are actually helping people.

 

PLANES

My favorite mode of transportation is every mode of transportation, as long as I’m over at least 10,000 feet in the air. I actually LOVE planes. When it comes to discussions involving flying, I’m one of the few people who just sit there and don’t say anything. I despise babies with a burning passion, but that fact that I can ingest skybrew (ginger ale) while flying higher than Bob Marley makes up for their endless screaming. Just realize the fact that you’re in a giant metal tube that has the potential to fly higher than Bob Marley (I like that phrase. Don’t judge me.), sit the fuck down, and just zone out.

 

BABIES

Ah, yes, babies. I’ve already mentioned them twice, so it’s only fair that I devote a whole section to these screaming masses of flesh. We were all babies once, but now that we are “enlightened”, we have the right to complain about them. Damn, I love self-ridicule. Anyway, back on topic.

For you less educated folks, “baby” is a term for an infant. A young human. A very young human, to be precise, usually below the age of 2. However, some babies have surpassed the age of 16 and have become known to people worldwide. They often scream repeatedly regardless of what you do to try and satisfy their needs. Even if you do manage to figure out what the problem is, they always seem to refuse to cooperate. Here’s a typical baby’s thought process, recorded using high-end technology. (Not really.)

 

“I’M HUNGRY I’M FUCKING HUNGRY GIVE ME FOOD NOW”

“Oh, cool, you’re giving me food.”

“Wait, is that food? OH GOD IT’S HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS MY MOUTH”

“I NEED TO GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH AND ALL OVER YOUR FACE”

“SPITTY SPIT SPIT MOTHERFUCKER”

“Oh, you’re walking away now? Well, guess what, asshole.”`

“I’M HUNGRY I’M FUCKING HUNGRY WHY DID YOU STOP I NEED SOME FUCKING FOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

As you can see, babies have been found to often ask for something, deny it, and ask for that something again.

 

One problem is that babies don’t talk. They just scream and cry. Now, I know what you’re thinking.

“BUT ISOYA, A BABY’S BRAIN ISN’T EVEN FULLY DEVELOPED YET! THEY CAN’T EVEN TALK AT THAT AGE!”

Right. That doesn’t mean it’s justified. It’s still annoying as hell, and always will be. My point is, babies are stupid.

 

That’s all for now, folks! I hope you found this post to be extremely offensive. Feel free to challenge my thoughts in the comments.

 

 

Altruism and You

Yep.

 

Here’s something I’ve been wondering for quite some time, but never talk about out of fear that I would be challenged. Since that’s unbelievably petty, I’m going to say what I want, in hopes that somebody will actually challenge my opinion.

Consider this. It’s ancient times. Humanity is still a cluster of people walking around killing mammoths and picking berries and such. I cannot guarantee that this will be scientifically accurate. After all, it’s a totally hypothetical situation.

There are 2 humans who are in the same group. We’ll call Human 1 “Bob”, and we’ll call Human 2 “Bill”.

Bob here, is a pretty cool guy. He’s fit, and is great both at harvesting and hunting. If another human needs help, he’s willing to help out.

Bill, on the other hand, is a total asshole. He’s not too great at harvesting or hunting, but there’s one thing he is good at, and that is leeching off other people.

One day, Bill finds himself out of food. He lives a little further from the camp, so nobody tends to bother him for that reason. It’s also because he’s a douche, but that’s not important right now. Bill is spying on the rest of the camp from the top of the hill that the camp is near. Looks like people are getting ready to pack up and get moving. Bob is giving out some berries to the less fortunate members of the group. Bill notices that Bob’s still got plenty of berries in his side of the larger tent which had served as the central area of the group for all this time. He decides to go down to the central tent, and steal a nice big chunk out of Bob’s food. Bill brings it back to his own smaller, shittier tent that’s a little more hidden by the hill. Bob notices that his food’s been taken! He goes and asks Bill for some extra food, as he doesn’t even know who took it. Bill basically tells Bob to go and fuck himself.

Bill continues this kind of behavior. Despite Bob losing food, he keeps trying to give and give, but then he ends up starving to death. Bill, on the other hand, takes hold of the group after Bob’s death and keeps stealing and never giving, while the lower members of the group do all the work.

As you can see, Bob’s selflessness only resulted in his death. Altruism has failed for him.

This answers the question of why humans are so selfish. It’s because those kinds of people survive longer. They get more of a chance to get their own offspring and continue their legacy of absolute douchebaggery. Feel free to challenge my reasoning.